Dancer turned Afrobeat artist Global Boga has given his first broadcast interview since losing his wife, 24-year-old YouTuber Nicole Thea, who died last July while eight months pregnant. The couple's newborn baby son, Reign, also died.
Speaking exclusively to BBC Radio 1 Newsbeat reporter Joice Etutu about his grief, Global Boga said: "I thought I wasn't going to make it. In my brain, I had discussions with the man up there, because what else have I got? Like, I've been in this country alone. Alone. And it's been so hard.
"I met my queen, I met my guardian angel, and in two years, it just vanished."
In an intimate family photo, shared exclusively with BBC Radio 1 Newsbeat, Global Boga's newborn son Reign can be seen holding his father's hand, shortly before he also died. The family wanted this moment to be shared.
Speaking about the thing he will miss most about Nicole, Boga said: "It's Nicole's love. She showed me some kind of thing that no matter what you're going through, we're one. And you're OK."
He said he clearly remembers his final moments with Nicole when he closes his eyes, but he has to "keep it moving".
He said: "When I close my eyes like this now, it's just the last moment of what happened, me and her… Her love is strong. So when I close my eyes that is literally all I see. And I have to open my eyes because I don't want to get to the end of that, because it still doesn't make sense until now. So I just keep my strength to myself, and keep it moving."
Nicole's and Reign's causes of death are currently unknown. There hasn't been an inquest yet - many hearings have been postponed because of the pandemic. The family also say they can't disclose the circumstances surrounding their deaths, as they're going through legal proceedings to find out how and why this happened.
Global Boga has turned to music to cope with his grief recording EP The Pain.
"Anything I feel now, I just express through music. But when you listen to it you're not going to hear any pain. I want to take people [away] from that. Let's start dancing. We're not dancing because I've lost my wife and son. But we're dancing because there's a better reign, you know?"
Asked how he wants people to remember Nicole, Global Boga said: "Her love. That's all I want you guys to know. Look at the way she loved me. My world has been taken away."
Watch the full interview by BBC Radio 1 Newsbeat via BBC News Online and hear the interview on BBC Sounds.